Pdf Man Myth Matthew Hussey Get The Guy
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Apr 24, 2017 - Hussey appeared on the program as one of three matchmakers, helping three men decide between their own set of twelve women, to find their.
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Owning The First 5Minutes: How To Have Impact Like A Celebrity, Win Over VIPs, Get People To Pay You For Your Passion, and Make Strangers Fall In Love With Everything You Say Introduction How I’m going to get Matt to deliver up ALL his best secrets My name is Stephen Hussey, and I am not a dating coach. What I am is the brother of a dating coach. Except today I don’t want to talk about dating. I want to talk about something that will transform the way you approach any area of your life, whether it’s your career, your family and friends, your ability to attract clients or future business, or your ability to charm and win over any of life’s important gatekeepers. And by the end of this document, you’ll know how to do this in The First Five Minutes of any situation! Let me ask you a question: Have you ever wondered how Matt has achieved such a high level of success at such a young age? How did he become such a master of human dynamics someone who stands out and has been able to convince others to give him so many incredible opportunities? A lot of people have asked me what his secret is. And the truth is, he has many secrets. What most people don’t realise is that years ago Matt actually created a model to reveal ALL OF HIS SECRETS; a stepbystep toolkit to teach others the powerful techniques he uses to create amazing results in his own life. Yet this material has never been out there for a single soul to see! And that really bugged me (for reasons you’re about to find out). Matt’s always been a little uncomfortable about revealing all this: it’s like
asking a chess grandmaster to analyse his own game and give away all his favourite strategies. He’s also wondered whether his audience would really be interested in these social tools (to which I’ve repeatedly screamed “Of course they would, you massive idiot!”). But there’s another reason that I want these techniques out there. It’s because I want to put an end to a myth. A myth that society, mainstream celebrity culture, and even Matt himself is responsible for perpetuating. And that myth has to end now. Part 2 Matthew Hussey: The REAL man behind the mask My brother Matthew has pulled a fast one. For the last five years he’s had the whole world fooled into believing that he’s a whirlwind of charisma, a masterful communicator, and a ‘natural’ television personality. And in truth (and as his brother I can say this for certain), he is NONE of these things. For a long time I’ve sat back and let him have his fun. I’ve nodded and smiled when people tell me, “he’s just the best natural communicator in the world”. People gush that he was “born to be on stage”; the public perception is that Matthew Hussey is a wunderkind, an intuitive zenmaster in the art of influence. Of course, it’s no mystery why people believe this. Matt has an incredible ability to own a room within the first five minutes of arriving anywhere I’ve seen him do it in nightclubs, on stage, during interviews, at lunches with friends…in all of these situations I’ve seen Matt’s amazing powers of influence at work. And it’s the most incredible asset a person can possess (and I’m going to show exactly how anyone can nail the first five minutes of any situation later in this guide). But people don’t realise that this is all a completely conscious and
wellhoned skill. People don’t realise that Matt wasn’t born with these abilities: he’s developed them. People just assume he was fed some special breakfast cereal throughout his childhood that made him what he is today. And it’s nonsense. I should know – I had the same cereal as him for 18 years! I’ve decided that this misconception HAS to end now. Before I tell you my diabolical plan for you and me to blow this thing wide open, let me explain how this all began… Part 3 How this all began… It all started a few weeks ago on a calm Tuesday afternoon. It was the day Matt was recording a radio interview, and I had set a reminder to listen at 4pm. Matt was going to be live with Elvis Duran a radio show in New York which has a huge national listenership, so I was eager to see how Matt performed. Plus, since it was universally agreed that Matt kicked ass on his first two appearances, the whole team of us were eager to hear how his third go around would be received. And then I turned it on… Now you have to understand, I’ve heard Matt give at least a hundred interviews on TV, radio, with journalists but this time was just one time too many, and something inside me snapped. Within the precious first five minutes, I could hear that the Elvis Duran team didn’t know what had hit them. They were practically slapping their knees with laughter. They were hooked within five minutes, as the room was transfixed by every single word Matt said – they praised him as an expert and the guy who has all the answers. They cheered uproariously at his stories they even thought it was utterly charming that he had showed up unwashed and in sweatpants! I went online to check out the buzz. Matt’s Twitter following had skyrocketed. His new fans were marveling at where this hurricane of
‘natural’ charisma had come from. The internet had swallowed every word and begged for more. And yet here I was, his brother, who had been with him every step of the way and knew all his techniques. I could see how it wasn’t natural at all it was all engineered perfectly. That interview was like seeing a magician crafting a wellstaged illusion. This was my brother, whom I could remember as a little stageshy nervous kid yet he has now completely assumed the role of a born effortless smoothtalker. And if only people knew the truth; Matt had grown up the least confident kid in the world. Yet in that interview, it was like he was the Wizard of Oz, and I was the only person able to see the tiny man behind the curtain pulling the strings and making the world believe in his godly powers. It was time for this illusion to be shattered. I phoned Matt immediately after the interview: Steve: You’re the Wizard of Oz and you need to come clean and admit the truth to the world right now. (Things may have gotten off to a weird start). Matt: Steve? Is that you? Steve: Yeah it’s me. Listen, that Elvis Duran interview that you did earlier… Matt: Uhhuh. What did you think? Steve: I could see EXACTLY what you were doing the entire time. Every single move. It was like I was watching a magician but I’m the only one who knows the tricks. Matt: Hey it was a big show, I had to bring my Agame and my best stuff.
Steve: But wouldn’t it be better if people knew that it wasn’t all natural? Right now, people think you just rock up to the studio and all that charisma just pours out of your DNA. What if people knew how much effort you put into learning these techniques? Matt: Don’t you think people must know that there’s quite a bit of preparation involved? Steve: I think all people see when they look at you is that you have some superpower that they can never replicate. You’ve let them go on thinking that you’re this guy who just sees through The Matrix, like that part at end of the film when Neo sees all the code written on the screen and suddenly he can just read it, because he’s ‘The One’ and he’s special and noone else is. People think you’re Neo, Matt. Matt: Steve, people do not think I’m Neo. Steve: Let me just ask you one thing: did you use the ‘Conversational Sleight of Hand’ technique when you told that story about the airplane journey? Matt: Well yeah, obviously. Steve: And I bet you already had some of those ‘spontaneous’ anecdotes written down before you walked in the room, right? Matt: I had them all written down on my iPad on my way to the show. Steve: I knew it. Okay, before you do anything, email me a screenshot of your notes from your iPad. I’m gonna type them up for something we can use later. Matt: Sure. Done. What for? You gonna write them up for a blog post or something? Steve: Better than that. It’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is. Matt: Er..Steve?
Steve: Don’t worry, you’ll thank me later..I think. Matt: What do yo… *Click* After that phone call I had what I needed. I had a full screenshot of Matt’s notes from before the show. Check it out:
It revealed EXACTLY what I had suspected. Everything from that first five minutes of the Elvis Duran interview was completely planned out to the letter! Every little line of the story he told was already scribbled down. Nothing was left to chance. People often wonder what Matt’s secret is. In the space of three years he moved from coaching six women in a cheap London hotel to being hired by Eva Longoria to star in an NBC TV show, writing a New York Times bestselling book (with a little help from yours truly), and owning a worldrenowned company that operates in both the UK and the US. The reason is because Matt has managed to build a skill set that is currently the most valuable possession he owns. And this skill set is what I want to bust open and give away in this guide so you too can use it. How do I know anyone can copy Matt’s techniques? Because Matt used to be CRIPPLINGLY SHY as a little kid. He was scared of everything. He was someone who would always run away whenever the chance arose to be in front of an audience – he used to nearly pee his pants at the idea of being seen by a crowd. Forget having impact, Matt couldn’t even handle being noticed! Yet he now appears on television constantly and is regularly called a ‘confidence guru’. And as Matt’s brother, I’ve seen the whole story up close. I watched as Matt put every ounce of energy into building the Get The Guy brand from scratch. At times it nearly destroyed him. He lost his social life. He buried himself in studying and learning everything he could about relationships and human dynamics. He networked like a Mad Man (albeit with far less whiskey). And soon enough, he was invited to LA, and as his business grew and grew he was on a ride towards the kind of lifestyle most people don’t get to enjoy until their 50s! I also got to see the side of the story you never really hear from successful people. I got to see how he developed. I got to see the bumpy ride it took to get him here. I saw his failures, his setbacks, and the enormous obstacles that had to be smashed down repeatedly before he could ever possess the skills he now has. I saw him work on his stage
presence – watching back videos of himself on weekends so that he could perform better at the next seminar. I saw him learn how to become comfortable with a camera, and figure out stepbystep how to influence others in those tiny fiveminute windows you’re given as a TV interview guest. People think that Matt’s main asset is his company. They’re wrong. The real asset is this ability to create impact with people, to be able to sell, influence, communicate, and control the dynamic of any interaction. So powerful is this skill that it didn’t even matter when Matt failed, because with mastery of this one element, this one skeleton key of human dynamics, he is always able to turn his fortunes around and make big things happen whenever he needs. Part 4 The One Trait Celebrities Have That The Whole World Wants There is a secret ingredient to Matt’s success. This is the ingredient that, Matt realised as a teenager, he’d have to acquire, or he’d never be able to convince anyone to pay a single dollar to watch him at a twohour seminar, let alone give him a book deal or put him on TV! And that secret ingredient is IMPACT. Have you ever seen an interview with a celebrity, or an entrepreneur, or a movie star, in which the interviewer asked them that obvious question we all want to know the answer to: “What’s your secret?” We wonder what that magical quality is, the secret charm that successful celebrities and entrepreneurs possess that at some point made an agent or casting director or investor or producer spit out their cigar, wipe the drool from their mouth with a hundred dollar bill and scream “Holy mackerel, this kid is gonna be huge! Sign them up immediately!” Of course, I now realise that this isn’t a magical ability at all. It’s more like a martial art or a video game – if you learn all the moves and know which
buttons to press, you can do the same tricks. And fortunately, by being Matt’s brother, I’ve had the ideal model to learn from… The HollywoodStar Model – How To Win Hearts and Minds In The First Five Minutes Of Any Situation How do we become someone people take notice of and listen to within the First Five Minutes of us walking into a room? This is such a crucial skill. In most areas of life we barely get a second longer than that to convey our message to the people listening. Our personality has to go a long way in a short space of time, which is why in that initial fiveminute window we have to nail it, just like Matt did in the Elvis Duran interview you will have listened to before reading this piece. Below I’m going to share the six secrets that Matt used in that interview, and I’ve shared them all with you and explained how you can use them in any social interaction. Pretty cool, right? Once you learn these six traits and use them in your everyday life, you will be able to transform any interaction, master any emotional or stressful situation, and get people to seek you out as someone who they look to when they need a strong presence in the room.
The Six Secrets Anyone Must Master To Have MASSIVE Impact In the First Five Minutes 1. Be Prepared People who have impact are social geniuses not because they are so gifted at being entertaining spontaneously, but because they make it look like they are being spontaneous. And that’s exactly what Matt did in his Elvis Duran interview. As you can see from the screenshot I posted earlier, Matt wrote his thoughts out on paper like a script before he even got to the studio. He knew that his terrible plane journey was just the thing to talk about, but instead of just freestyling it in the moment, he wrote down an extensive story of what happened, who the main characters were, and got down a few nuggets of vivid description e.g. the “mountain of a man” with the big beard who was throwing potato chips in his face. Having this kind of detail ready enables him to sound eloquent in the moment even though he’s extensively rehearsed what he’s going to talk about. Bottom Line: Preparation maximizes your chances of nailing those First Five Minutes. Mark Twain summed it up best when he said: “It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech'. What’s more, when you prepare, it’s much easier to fulfil the second secret of impact… 2. Be A Master of the Conversational SleightofHand To own the First Five Minutes of any interaction, you need to be proactive instead of reactive. The Conversational SleightofHand is a technique which helps you do exactly this. The principle is simple:
Always answer the question you wish you’d have been asked. This technique guarantees that no matter what situation you’re in, YOU get to control the dynamic of the conversation. You always get to tell the story or make the point that you want to make. Plus, when you learn how to pull it off well, it’s so subtle and indirect, that even the people you’re speaking to will feel like they are in charge, even when in reality you’re pulling them toward exactly where you want to go. See, the secret of the most influential people is that they know not to wait for opportunities, and instead know how to turn any situation into an opportunity. Notice how in the opening part of the Elvis Duran interview, Elvis gives Matt a ribbing for wearing sweatpants, and Matt immediately says “I’ll tell you why..” and launches into his prescripted story about his plane journey. So Matt was then able to choose from the very first moment what to speak about even though the interviewer began by leading the conversation. Suddenly everyone is laughing because he’s got this great “spontaneous” anecdote up his sleeve but Matt secretly knew he was ready to deploy it no matter what the first question happened to be. You’ll see politicians use this technique all the time. While some don’t do it very gracefully, those who are masters at communication are able to get their points across no matter what questions are asked of them or whoever the audience happens to be. You’ll also see slick advertisers and savvy marketers do this. They are able to slip their message under the radar in a way that seems completely cool and spontaneous. It’s like when an actor is on a talk show and casually mentions his new movie and makes it sound like the best work of his entire career, and indirectly coaxes the interviewer into talking more about the new film he wants to promote. Or when a job candidate subtly brags about themselves in an interview by telling a story about a time when they showed initiative and creativity. So the two simple ways to begin to practice this technique: (1) Always answer the question you wish you would have been asked.
(2) Tell a story that lets you indirectly smuggle in your real message. E.g. When the actor tells a funny story about something that happened to them on the set of their recent movie, which then allows them to seamlessly have a conversation to promote that new movie. (Hint: This one is also really handy on a date when you want to show off or display a particular characteristic you have without coming across as bragging or being selfindulgent. e.g. telling a story about a time you were adventurous, spontaneous, brave, generous, etc.) 3. Learn How To Be An ‘Emotional Conductor’ (And Become Impervious To Insults, Criticism and Mockery) We all have to learn how to be strong in the face of criticism. Matt tells me he actually looks forward to criticism these days because it gives him a chance to show what he’s made of in his response. This is because Matt has mastered the art of being an Emotional Conductor. This is one of the most powerful ideas I’ve ever come across, and it’s one Matt uses whenever he’s on stage, or pitching to executives, or in interviews – it’s especially great when facing intimidating and urgent scenarios in which you have to respond on your feet. Being an Emotional Conductor means being able to be the emotional center of any situation. It’s being the person who controls the mood, instead of simply reacting to it. It’s the ability to turn a negative into a positive, instead of doing what most people do, which is meet a negative with another negative and end up embarrassing themselves and losing control of the conversation. People who don’t have impact are easily flustered and become emotional when they are attacked or when things go even slightly wrong. They fall to pieces. They complain. They get upset. Or worse, they come back with anger and end up looking like the nasty one themselves. Being in control isn’t about avoiding these difficult or dangerous conflict
situations, it’s about being calm and knowing how to deal with conflict, difficulties and criticism. One way to do this is by leading the energy in the room where you want it to go. There is a Japanese martial art called Aikido which embodies this idea beautifully. Aikido is often translated as “The Way of The Harmonious Spirit” and its main philosophy is based on the idea that we must never meet force headon, but instead redirect the force of the attacker to where we want it to go. This means that Aikido requires very little strength. Instead it requires us to be more sophisticated and ‘lead’ our opponent’s momentum and either turn it towards another direction, turn it into something else, or dissolve it completely. Here are three ways to master this technique whenever you face criticism: (1) Remain calm If you panic, you lose impact. Whatever is thrown at you, remain calm and assured that you are able to deal with it in a reasonable way. This already makes you more powerful than anyone in the room. (2) Decide your own mood Choose your response and set the tone yourself. Never let other people’s moods influence your own energy. The more in control you are of your mood, the more others will be led by you. (3) Redirect criticism to something positive Very few things in life warrant an angry or emotional response. Some better responses are to either (a) calmly explain why a criticism is incorrect, (b) laugh it off and take it in your stride, or (c) ignore it completely (because sometimes the strongest response is none at all). Now, when you are faced with tough questions, you’ll look forward to them and enjoy these moments of tension – as it becomes like taking a remote control into your hands and deciding how to play the situation any way you choose. Notice how many times Matt gets insulted playfully in the opening of the interview. It seems like nothing, because each time he either lets the jokes wash over him, or he just amplifies the humour by stretching the joke
further. Notice how Matt says that even his stylist says he dresses terribly, and he goes on to say how he’s a terrible coach, and noone should take his advice. By shouldering the criticism and making it funnier, Matt conducts the emotional energy and makes himself seem like more of an expert because he doesn’t look like he’s trying too hard. He makes it look like he’s there to have fun – and as a result he takes the rest of the crowd with his energy – until by the sixth minute Elvis Duran admits “you just have the right answer at all times.” This brings us to another principle we see in these first five minutes… 4. Adopt a ValueDelivering Mindset (and let others praise you for it) You can adopt all the fancy tricks you want, but if you just talk hot air and never really get to any meat, you’ll lose your audience very quickly. Which is why you have to never take your position for granted, and treat every new opportunity as though it were the first and only time people are going to hear what you have to say. That means (a) not being complacent, and (b) being prepared to sell your ideas as though noone has ever heard them before. Notice how at no point does Matt come in and pretend he’s a highandmighty dating guru who has all the secrets of the universe in his pocket. As well as not taking the criticism seriously, Matt also doesn’t take the praise seriously. He knows he’s on the show to deliver and entertain, and that every single new interview is a chance to bring his material to an entirely new audience. Which is why Matt always has a focus on overdelivering. He wants any single person who tuned in to Elvis Duran that day to feel like they were hit with so much value, whether it’s through entertainment, intriguing ideas or a fresh perspective on an old problem, so that they can’t believe this guy is giving it away for free.
What I had missed was better then what preceeded it. Personally I prefer Godzilla movies but seeing London landmarks get the holy piss smashed out of thme made for a good time. It may seem a bit cheep and dodgy @ the beginning but if you stick w/ it the payoff (more the most part) is worth it. Nine half weeks torrent. It's mama GORGO that wrecks the havoc bringing London to it's knees.
That’s what makes people want to hear every single thing you have to say when they feel like they are always going to get gold no matter how many times they hear you speak. People who have impact know that they can never ride on a previous reputation. They have to be as ready and excited to deliver and redeliver every time as if it were their very first opportunity. 5. Being a Master Storyteller In ancient Athens it was recognized by philosophers that expert communication had to have two parts working in tandem, Logic and Rhetoric. Logic involves getting the facts right and making sure that the speaker knows that what they are saying makes sense and follows sound reasoning. Rhetoric is all about how things are said, how emotion is used, and how convincing one is in the way they tell the facts so as to have maximum influence on others. The Greeks recognized that both of these, Logic and Rhetoric, had to be combined, and that too much of one without the other would diminish the impact a person could hope to have. Storytelling focuses on the Rhetoric part, and it’s a skill that recognizes that there is more to influence than just intelligence. While it’s incredibly useful and important to be smart and right, facts on their own rarely move people to action. Influence comes from being able to tell an engaging and moving story that captivates an audience and wins them over with its power. Consider why movies have so much more effect at bringing world problems to people’s attention – compare the emotional power of a film like Blood Diamond to the effect of a passive news item that simply reels off numbers and statistics about the calamities caused by the diamond trade in Sierra Leone.
We need stories to move us into action. And people who own the room need to be able to move others into action. Which means we have to become Master Storytellers. Notice in the Elvis Duran interview how Matt peppers his story with vivid language. Instead of just describing a bad flight, he asks the audience to imagine ‘the worst flight in the world’. We hear about a fat bearded guy playing loud video games, and, to introduce the horror of smelling baby vomit, Matt asks the studio to imagine “what can only be described as the most pungent cheese I’ve ever smelt”. Suddenly the hosts are groaning and laughing at how terrible this situation is! Notice the power of injecting emotion and drawing out the detail – instead of just coming in and saying “yeah, so my flight sucked today”. As you can hear in the interview: when you master storytelling, even complaining and bitching about a bad flight can create an incredible atmosphere in the room the way Matt does here. 6. Be Empathetic and Show Appreciation To Others To truly get others hooked on what we have to say, we have to follow that old adage: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. People who have real, lasting influence aren’t selfobsessed and narcissistic. They are able to make others feel truly valued as if they were the only people in the world at that moment. Having empathy means truly taking the time to understand what concerns others and tailoring your message to their needs at any given time. If Matt marched into a seminar room without acknowledging the audience’s fears and concerns, they would soon feel like he had no right to be on a stage telling them about their love lives. They would think: “This guy doesn’t understand me or what I’ve been through at all!”, and all of a sudden he would lose credibility in their eyes. Having empathy is the way to not only deliver your message, but to
make your audience feel like your message has been delivered just for them and only them and with them in mind. This is perhaps the biggest secret of any great public speaker, and it’s what sets apart those who are merely competent performers from those who are able to lead on a worldscale and create any emotion they choose. One way Matt builds empathy in the interview is by being a fallible human. He shows that he isn’t going to be another selfhelp guru who is Mr Perfect by pretending that he has no flaws. Notice in the Elvis Duran interview how Matt shows humility – he plays down his expert status and emphasizes the fact that he’s not a master – he’s just someone who has thought about relationships for so long that he’s managed to figure a few things out and wants to share them with people. He even throws in a sneaky line about how he’s been telling other people how great Elvis himself is, so he shows that he’s not making the show all about him. If you make others feel like the show is for them, they’ll want to come back to the show every single time. The easy way to practise this is to try understanding where other people are coming from. What’s on their mind? How can you make the conversation address their immediate need? Get into someone’s mind, and you’ll have no problem winning their heart.
So can you now see how it’s possible to apply these techniques to completely OWN the First Five Minutes of any interaction? In just five minutes of a radio interview, Matt used these six principles to walk into the room, have everyone laughing and eating out of his hand, and set the situation to create major impact for the next hour of the interview. Can you see why this is so powerful? I could write a book on the whole hour and that was just the opening five minutes of the interview. There's an entire world of secrets that Matt uses to be successful, and if we push Matt maybe he'll start talking about it more and reveal more of his secrets. I know you'll love them and be able to use them to transform your own life. This also totally blows apart the myth of ‘natural charisma’ that everyone likes to pretend exists. You can now see how rigorously Matt employs these principles to ensure he has influence. Nothing is left to chance. Take time to study these six secrets and start building them into your repertoire so that you have no excuse not to win people over in the first five minutes. One more thing… I only just showed this document to Matt, and he was good enough to agree to release it to his ENTIRE mailing list. My intention in writing this is to open up a can of worms and really get Matt to take notice of this material that I KNOW so many of his fans would like him to talk about more. I hear so many people screaming for him to go further and apply his approach to other areas of their lives that I knew it couldn’t wait any longer people have been wanting to hear about Matt’s approach to leading a successful and fulfilling life for years now. My hope is that this document will generate enough of a reaction to light a fuse and bring Matt to do something about it.
Please send your feedback to us letting us know what you think of this material. With enough feedback, and if I can convince Matt people actually want to hear him elaborate on the kind of skills mentioned in this guide, it might just tip him over the edge and get him to release his treasure chest of skills. These are the things Matt has spent his whole life learning (much of which he had to learn through painful, brutal experience). If he ever put this stuff out there, I’ve told him it could be the coolest thing he’s ever released. But it will require him to open up, come clean and reveal his whole box of tricks (which will equip you with the tools you need to go and create impact everywhere in your life). We all know from that interview that Matt can talk a good game..now I want to know if he can live up to the hype. I’ve put the ball in his court. Let’s see how he plays it… By Stephen H Hussey Feedback: support@gettheguy.co.uk
Matthew Hussey.
Never heard of him? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. This man was completely unknown to me until recently. Hussey is a British television personality and life coach, who has been deemed an “expert” on love advice. He is also a best-selling New York Times author, having written Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve.
How I discovered him:
Like any other person my age, I spend a large portion of my day consuming media- specifically, YouTube videos. While I’m willing to shell out a few bucks a month for a premium Spotify subscription and some Adobe products, I don’t have it in my heart to pay for YouTube Red. So, I’m left to endure terrible ads. Usually I’m able to ignore a commercial’s first ten seconds and press ‘skip’, however, a few times, I was presented this ad.
“In this video, I’m going to show you three ways to compliment a guy to make him fall for you.”
Oh, boy howdy! Where do I begin? How could I possibly turn this ad off? It sent all my “broadcaster” senses a-tingling! Here we have a well-groomed, attractive man, sitting in front of a white background. No distractions, no flashy clothing.
He is the center of the viewer’s attention. His opener is short, sweet, and to the point. “You have a desire, and I’m going to help you fulfill that easily.” He follows this with a call-to-action, saying to watch until the end because he has something “very special” that we don’t want to miss.
A gift? For me? From this handsome, British man? Best call me a pike, because he has me hook, line, and sinker.
In all seriousness, this ad did catch my attention. This really began to peak my curiosity when this ad continued to pop up for me on another five or six videos. Did my online activity pinpoint me as a single woman who so desperately needed a man, that I needed to seek a complete stranger’s help? Did I seem incapable of attracting a mate?
Alright, I was being unfair. Some people benefit from getting a bit of relationship advice. I decided to dive into Hussey’s media presence and YouTube channel, and see what I could find.
Camila Cabello
3 Types of Advice
Matthew Hussey appears to have divided himself into three different Love Gurus.
First, you have the love guru who appears on the NBC show “Ready for Love”. Hussey appeared on the program as one of three matchmakers, helping three men decide between their own set of twelve women, to find their future brides. Hussey’s opening statement on the show was “Matchmaking is about getting inside the male brain to get what you want.”
On “Ready for Love,” the matchmakers coach the women for their dates and give advice on how to catch the contestant’s eye, make a lasting impression, and make the most of their time with the contestant. Hussey seems to focus a lot of his advice on “doing the right thing.” He has a set idea of what’s the right way and the wrong way to get with a guy. This makes sense, as Hussey says in an interview on “Ready for Love,” that his background as a life coach soon led him to holding love advice conferences for men. He would hear a lot of what men were and weren’t looking for, and he’s built up a repertoire of dos and don’ts for courting those of the male gender.
Next, we have the Matthew Hussey you meet on a luxurious retreat! For the right price, that is.
Thanks to the success of his book, Hussey has expanded his work into a series of products that you can purchase on his website howtogettheguy.com. These products read like the article titles in every edition of Cosmo.
These products appear to focus on 'fixing' yourself and your mistakes in order to achieve the ultimate goal: getting to take home your very own man. They sit in a very stark contrast to his larger product: The Retreat.
The Matthew Hussey Retreat, or at least the upcoming one, is a five day event in Florida, where each day, you and a large number of other women, will spend each day looking at yourself, your values, your current life as it stands, and everything that might be standing between you and the person you want to be. This retreat focuses heavily on finding happiness for yourself through changing aspects of your everyday life. These changes are meant to make you more confident, thereby making it easier to find and build a relationship with a man. I keep repeating 'man' specifically, because in all of the research I did on Hussey's advice videos and packets, he never seems to mention the option of having a relationship with another woman.
All-in-all, the retreat appears.. intense. There are tasks before the retreat that are asked of you, such as keeping diaries regarding your activities, emotions, and discoveries. The following days revolve around understanding your goals, other people's motives, and eventually learning to let go of your own insecurities and pushing yourself to take risks in your day to day life.
These things don't sound terrible! They seem like sound advice to give someone who wants guidance badly enough to spend a large amount of money. It's an investment in themselves, after all. While I couldn't find the exact price of the retreat on Hussey's website, an English writer for The Telegraph said her retreat ticket costed over £3,000 ($3845).
Finally, I had to look into our third Hussey, the first one I encountered.
The YouTube Hussey.
At this point, Hussey didn't seem so bad. Sure, he had some gimmicky advice products and seemed to cater to women who were down on themselves, but he is a life coach, after all. And not all of his advice seemed awful. But I still had this uneasy feeling about him, and all of it stemmed from that first video I had seen.
Looking into his YouTube profile, his videos seem like, for lack of a better term, clickbait.
How to Get Back With Your Ex!
How to Make Him Melt!
How to Stop Attracting the Wong Guys!
Get His Attention at a Party!
What He REALLY Means When He Says Yada yada yada..
It's all just so simple.
Matthew Hussey's videos are presented in a way that makes dating into some sort of game. He formats men into puzzles that women are too distracted or nervous or blind to figure out.
A lot of his advice circles around what it takes to get a man, but none of his content addresses what it means to actually sustain a relationship. He barely talks about communication, and instead lays heavy on how to act coy yet confident. Hussey's work comes off as a gimmick. It's all just set up from an entrepreneurial stand point, rather than a humanities one.
He doesn't treat a relationship as an investment in a partnership, but rather as a Twinkie at the end of a stick. 'If you just stop and think about the situation or who you are for a second, you'd be smart enough to reach out for the Twinkie, instead of waiting for IT to come to YOU!'
Is Matthew Hussey Single
Look, I might be a bit young to be giving relationship advice, and maybe you enjoy Matthew Hussey's work, and if so, that's fine. But for me, the best advice I was ever given for a relationship were these three things:
1. Don't let a significant other define you. In the end, you live with yourself. Don't let another person decide who you're going to be.
2. Be an adult. If something is bothering you or if you wonder if you're bothering them, speak up about it. Nothing good is ever born from silence and fear.
3. Do things for one another. Be it a small or a large gesture, this will be what they remember at the end of the day.
And that advice extends to all sorts of relationships, not just romantic ones.
Be yourself. Be honest. Be kind.